fx4redneck
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From: PA
Truck: 1989 Bronco
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10/12 9:36a
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Hey its amber, my sign in isnt working for some reason... sorry i havent been on in awhile, the below will explain...
Autumn: I was having problems with her all around for awhile. We finally figured out that she is has an allergy to cows milk. Which in turn means no breast feeding and special formula. The problem of crying still went on so then we found out she has bad colic, if u hold her on ur chest u can actually feel her little tummy cramping. We now have her on a Gripe Water and a different special formula for babies that have colic and hypo-allergenic. When i went to pick it up i almost fell over at the cost, $20.58 a can (small can) which last us a week! Then on top of all that she got REALLY sick in a matter of two days. She went into a coughing fit one day and stopped breathing, her lips turned blue and i then began what i remembered from infant cpr and called 911 and Derek. She began breathing again after a few seconds (felt like hours) and we were rushed down to Hershey Med. They said she has an upper respiratory infection and gave us meds and a nebulizer (?spelling) and they also put her on reflux meds because they dont want a chance of stomach acids getting into her lungs. With all of that she is doing MUCH better now, crying isnt so much, still has a little breathing problem but i think im getting it under control with her treatments and she now has times where she will look at u and talk and laugh at just one month. Hoping and Praying everything keeps looking up for us and her.
Lily: Is getting bigger and smarter than ever, but having a VERY hard time with the new baby being here especially since she is sick and needs more attention than normal. Derek and i both set aside time and do something with her every night, sometimes together and sometimes on our own. We get her to help with Autumn as much as she can right now and she seems to enjoy all of that. BUT when the attention is not on her she acts out in the worst way and its getting out of control! I feel bad for punishing her sometimes for what she does because i know why she is doing it, but i feel i cant let her think its ok to do either...She is still going to school and they say she isnt a problem there except when it comes to nap time but she outgrew those awhile ago so i dont hold that against her. Besides she still stays on her cot and is quiet and thats all i can ask of her when it comes to that. I just hope that something gets figured out soon with her or we get past all of this.
Derek: Is being a very good daddy and is as patient as he can be with the girls. He believes Autumn is going to be his daddy's girl since Lily clings to me. He played peek-a-boo the other night with Autumn and finally got to see her laugh and smile so that made his day maybe even year. He is still working at PPL but not so much over time now since we are in the in-between major seasons. Hoping once winter comes he can catch some storms that way we are closer to making our bigger changes.
Me: These days im just trying to stay as sane as possible! There are some days where i just want to crawl into the closet and not come out for a very long time. The no sleep and screaming baby and out of control toddler plus just the regular "stay at home mom" things to do are just WAY TO MUCH. I believe this is the hardest job i have ever had and maybe even the hardest job out there. I try to explain to Derek that he gets to come home from work and yes he has to deal with the girls but he still gets to relax and sleep and some days i dont even have the time to stop and take a drink and my job is 24 hrs 7 days a week . He gets it for the most part (i think) and does take the girls every now and then to let me sleep, although that doesnt happen cause he is either yelling at lily or lily is just yelling to yell or the baby is crying. BUT i do give him lots of credit and appreciation for what he does. I may not show it all the time but i do and i try to show him when i remember. I start school in Jan and right now my weeks consist of meetings with counselors, and doctors appts. for me and Autumn . Im hoping things will get a little easier as Autumn gets older, if not school may just have to go back on the back burner which i REALLY dont want to do but such is life i guess....
Thanks for listening (reading), sorry to ramble on about things but it feels good to get some of it out. Hope everyone is doing good, TTYS!
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SB 
Lightning Member
Posts: 6,659
Registered:
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From: PA
Truck: 1979 F-250
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10/12 1:49p
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Hey, that's what's we're here for. I'm sorry that you guys have such a heavy burden (at such a young age). Random chit seems to be going around a hell of a lot faster than swine flu. If there's any chapter member with kids that hasn't been through hell ---- get off the site (LOL).
This is a stupid thing to say, because we all do it, but try not to take it personally. You guys are great parents that have pumps in the road. I wish I had any helpful suggestions, but I also feel like I failed as a parent and nobody has made me feel any better about it.
Try to get some time for yourselves. Really. Like a date once or twice a month. My ex and I never did that. We just played goo-goo with the kids and neglected ourselves. Maybe some counseling might help. You are not by any means alone. Love doesn't conquer all. It's a good start, but then life kicks you in the gut, and love takes a second seat. It's normal, but you can't give up. It will drive you crazy, and that's the GOOD news!
Make a commitment for the long haul, and be honest with each other. Honesty is hard, because we don't want to hurt our partner ("I have a headache") and that's how we try to avoid the truth.
Get yourselves a trusted sitter (like Mudbug) and take a real break from the lovely burden you've been given. Do NOT feel guilty. Kids will get to accept it, just like pets in the kennel. Believe it or not, there is only so much you can do to make things better. The rest, you have to learn to live with. The sooner you can do that, the better off the whole family will be in the long run.
Or maybe, I'm just an old guy wishing someone helped me along the way. I just don't think guilt will help at all, unless it's in moderation. Nature will win out, but we can be attuned to it and follow it's lead. Just don't forget who you are and where the kids came from.
Love you guys.
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F150wman
NOS Lightning Member
Posts: 12,189
Registered:
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From: PA
Truck: 1997 F-150
Mods: 29
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10/15 1:25p
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Wow, sorry to hear about everything that is going on down there. I hope Autumn is doing better now! Amber, I think you may be putting school off for a little while. I don't know how you would do it. I go to school 4 days a week and if I am not there, I am home doing assignments, reading or projects. That whole description of you wanting to crawl in the closet, thats me and I don't have children. Well, the 80 lb Stroker is just like a kid. 
I hope things are going a little smoother for you now and if you just need to talk, you know where I am!
Love you guys and tell Lily to be good or Uncle Na will bring her truck down there and start it up! 
Renee
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mudbug05
SuperCrewZer Member
Posts: 2,961
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From: PA
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10/18 2:31p
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SB i had my thoughts your mind was going but now you just proved to me you lost it.........you want me to be a babysitter you really are senialb
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Fx4rednecksBtRhAlF
SuperCab Member
Posts: 138
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3/8/09
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From: PA
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10/20 11:41a
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well Lily is getting worse and i dont know how much more i can take. Ive spoke with Doctors and they all tell me im doing the right thing she is just stubborn. But honestly something has to be wrong because NO ONE i have spoke with has had this much trouble with their child after having another. Im going crazy!!
We have an appt with a pediatric pal-monologist(spelling?)to have Autumns lungs checked and to start exploring allergies. Thinking maybe the dog or mold spores from under the house. We bought two air purifiers one big one for the living room area and a smaller one for her room. They seem to help for a little but when she is around the dog she gets worse, he may have to go! Derek is devastated and im upset also but im more in mama bear mode and want to protect my baby. If it is the dog im not sure how we are going to get rid of him. I have a fear that this will make things worse with Lily also, because its another big change that happens since Autumn has been here. He is Derek and I`s original baby so its going to be hard all around i guess....
I just set my schedule for school and got registered with all thats going on im still going thru with it. I know its going to be a lot but i dont start till Jan and maybe by then things will calm down. Besides i need something to get away and to get my mind off of home, im so fragile emotionally now that if i dont do this one thing that ive wanted to do for myself i may just break down. Im doing my best to hold it all together and stay positive even tho it may not sound like it. Sorry to vent on ya`ll!
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gearjammer98
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From: NY
Truck: 2008 F-150
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10/20 12:51p
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Amber it sounds like you need to talk with my wife.
her kid brother pretty much went through the same thing. he stopped breathing and she performed cpr, allergies and all that stuff.
what we have found worse than a pet is carpeting is the worst offender holding dust and all kinds of nasties.
her brother now has a daughter with the same problems who comes to stay with us on weekends and since we removed the carpeting and installed tile floors she does much better in our house and he also removed all carpeting from his house.
if you pull up carpets you will find tons of dust and dirt no matter how picky of a housewife you are. vacuum 10 times a day and you will still find crud under that carpet.
before you make a decision for your pet to go hurting both of you try getting rid of carpets first.
Phil
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mhoover
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Posts: 8,682
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From: PA
Truck: 1997 F-250
Mods: 42
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11/5 6:51p
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Wow, I didn`t know you guys were having that many problems.  I sure hope that things turn around for you and become a little bit more sane. And you and Derek definitely definitely need to take time for yourselves. If not, you will start to live seperate lives almost and that`s never good. I hope for the best for you guys and if you need anything (not that I have the most free time) let me know. 
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F150wman
NOS Lightning Member
Posts: 12,189
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From: PA
Truck: 1997 F-150
Mods: 29
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11/7 1:10p
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Tell Lily, Uncle Na is going to come down there and be very mad if she doesn`t behave!  better yet, tell her I will start my truck up and jsut let it run! Maybe one weekend, I will just have to drive it down there to scare her!
Phil has really good advise there!
Renee
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